The paragraph is critical of the author’s argument, stating that it does not fully address problems with the need to study abroad. Thus, it is likely that the essay as a whole is also critical of the argument. This thesis statement makes a case for the overall weakness of the argument in general terms.
This question asks you to think about effective organization of paragraphs. This paragraph argues that scholarships would not be enough to cover added costs of study abroad. For this fact to be relevant, we would have to be sure that those added costs exist. Thus it would be effective for the paragraph before this one to establish this claim.
The author of the sample paragraph supports her argument with a claim that there will not be enough scholarships for all low-income students. This seems likely but is not supported with evidence. If the author could provide evidence that there is currently little scholarship money available for study abroad, this would support the claim.
An analogy is a logical comparison between two subjects, intended to make certain features of the topic at hand more clear. The passage contains no analogies, but does contain sentences of various lengths, a topic sentence (“The author…does not fully address the impact of mandatory study abroad on students from poor backgrounds”) and a paraphrase of the original argument (“the author does state that the extra cost of studying abroad could be made up through scholarships”).
The sample paragraph suggests that scholarships are an inadequate way to cover the costs of studying abroad. To assert that students should apply for a scholarship early to help them pay for the experience undermines the persuasive stance that something more than scholarships is required to allow students to participate in a study abroad program.
The passage’s main point is that assistance should be provided for people who cannot afford medical care. Rather than open with this claim, the author begins by setting up a supporting point, that people who cannot afford healthcare often skip going to the doctor. This example reverses the more common practice of stating the thesis in the first paragraph. Writers sometimes try to establish a connection with the reader before presenting the main point of the argument.
The thesis of a persuasive essay is most often a statement of value or an argument about what should be done.
To support
this claim, an author will use facts. In this passage, the author uses facts about the healthcare system to persuade the reader that there is a problem, before offering a thesis about the type of solution that is needed.
This sample thesis statement not only makes a claim about the value of the argument, but it also identifies what the argument author is doing (supporting assistance programs) and how the author is doing it (by citing a problem that assistance programs could solve). This thesis is specific enough without getting hung up on one part of the argument.
While the author states that forgoing treatment can cause worse problems down the road, this is not supported with evidence or examples. Most readers will believe the claim anyway, but providing an example could make the claim more persuasive and emotionally engaging.
Overall, the passage moves from identifying a problem and providing evidence that it exists to arguing for a certain type of solution. If other types of solutions could address the problem equally well, failing to address them would be a potential weakness in the author’s line of reasoning.
The sample paragraph is flawed because it claims to argue for the position that corporations do not have a responsibility to society, but the reasons given do not effectively support that argument. Sentence 4 simply restates the thesis, and sentence 3 is a faulty argument because there is no reason a corporation cannot aspire to both make money and be socially responsible.
The paragraph does contain a clear topic sentence, sentence 1. Sentence 1 also contains an example of wordy language. The three reasons provided do not support the claim because it is unlikely that being socially responsible would prevent companies from making any money. Sentence 2 states that the paragraph is simply restating points from earlier paragraphs.
Circular reasoning means that an author uses a particular claim as evidence for that same claim. In this case, the author uses the argument that “it is not the corporations’ job to help the society” to defend a thesis that basically says the same thing.
Sentence 2 does not add any new information to the argument. Rather than using a conclusion paragraph to restate main ideas, it can be more effective to introduce new information that exemplifies what you are trying to say.
The paragraph as written contains unnecessary phrases like “in society” and overly formal language like “thus” that is eliminated in the rewrite. The word ultimately” is a synonym for *conclusively, which implies a summation of the previous information.
Since the thesis statement focuses on another treatment option for ADHD, it would make the most sense if next paragraph explained that treatment option.
The transition word however denotes a shift. In this case, a variety of treatment options are listed, and then the “however statement” suggests that the list is not complete and gives one option that may be overlooked.
Sentence 3 is an incomplete sentence and should be joined to sentence 2 with a comma.
This fact would help to support the idea that diet and nutrition can play a role in managing ADHD symptoms.
An anecdote is a short “story” that connects ideas for a reader or draws them in to help them make a connection to a topic. This paragraph does not include an anecdote.
Sentence 7 is the only statement in the passage that states a clear opinion on the central question of whether governments should offer free college education. In this sample paragraph, the author does not open with the thesis statement but with background information that encourages the reader to support it.
In this essay, we might expect the author to address common counterarguments such as the idea that taxpayer-funded college education is too expensive and to provide evidence for central claims. The focus of the essay prompt and opening paragraph are on college and why it should be free, not on high school and how the idea of publicly funded education became acceptable
The phrase “our world of today in the twenty-first century” is repetitive and could be shortened to just “Today.” In a short essay, it is important for each word to contribute to the main argument.
The claim that people in earlier times did not need high school is not a true counterargument to the thesis. Since the author is arguing that times have changed and college is now important enough that people need access, the notion that times have changed and education has become more important might actually support the argument. The other three answer choices, if true, would substantially weaken the author’s argument.
